Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Simple Things

It's been about three days since we've been here in our house in Umbria. I feel so totally relaxed and I have to wonder what's keeping me from living like this all the time... Such a big part of me wants to just forget about school and work and just live off of my immediate surroundings. Having a tiny (hyper efficient and good looking) house in the country with a biodynamic farm sounds so good right now. I can't stop thinking about work, money, and whether or not I'm actually going to be able to support myself one day. It's a shitty mental rut to be in, but seeing how beautiful this house is reminds me of it's price tag. It's not so much that I want to be filthy rich or anything, it's more that I just want to be able to afford the lifestyle I've always envisioned for myself. Quite frankly I don't want to be 50 and still slaving away for some firm that I don't give a rats ass about. I'm nervous that that will be my fate. Then again I suppose that my future is largely what I make of it, but G-d willing that there's no extenuating circumstances that prevent me from fulfilling my dreams, I suppose I just have to trust that G-d will steer life's metaphorical ship in the right direction. I also just want a job where I'm excited everyday to go to work. Let's hope all of that happens haha

Sorry for the sappy stuff. Sometimes it's better just to channel fear into something tangible so that you can see just how small and insignificant those fears really are.

-cliff

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Umbria, Italy

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